


The Cornucopia

by FreckledSkittles



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe, Banter, Friendship, Gen, Getting Together, M/M, Multi, OFC - Freeform, Texting, everyone is happy and nothing is wrong ever okay, idk what to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29542140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreckledSkittles/pseuds/FreckledSkittles
Summary: "Welcome to the cornucopia, Kat. It’s fucking chaos."
Relationships: Nick Amaro/Mike Dodds, Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 18
Kudos: 42





	The Cornucopia

**Author's Note:**

> ~And then there were two~
> 
> I am so close to finishing my SVZoo fic and then after that it's the Greek myth au and it's all a matter of just sitting down and writing it, I just play Pokemon all day and then don't have time for writing, which is not good, but I can stop playing whenever I want and I do not have a problem thank youuuu
> 
> Anyway enjoy this dorky fic that is comprised of texts between the squad gc!!! This is what I want in a friend group chat but also what the squad deserves and tbh I'm tempted to write more for this universe but I don't wanna push itif no one else wants it so 👉👈 if you wanna see more, lmk I guess
> 
> Thanks to ndrwsctt for the beta!! <3  
> I hope you all enjoy!!

_Olivia Benson has added Kat Tamin to the group chat “The Cornucopia.” Say hello!_

**Olivia** : Sorry this is so late. Noah needed some help cleaning his toys up. Everyone welcome Kat Tamin to the chat. She was recently promoted to Detective and she’s made herself right at home with our squad at work, so I think it’s only fitting she gets adopted by us.  
Kat, you should know almost everyone here. This is our group chat for non-work items. We use it for details on our get-togethers but if you have a personal emergency, we’re here for you.

 **Sonny** : Welcome, Kat!

 **Kat** : Thanks! I’m really happy to get to know you guys better outside of work.

 **Amanda** : I’m so sorry for whatever’s about to go down.

 **Munch** : Hello, green horn. Do you have a minute to discuss the Kennedy assassination?

 **Kat** : You must be Fin’s husband, John. He warned me about this.

 **Munch** : Dammit.

 **Fin** : I’m always one step ahead, John.  
Welcome to the chat, Kat. Sorry you haven’t met John in person. We keep work out of our relationship.

 **Kat** : I understand. Maybe we can have lunch soon?

 **Fin** : That sounds nice. We’ll figure out a day that works for our schedules and get back to you on that.

 **Munch** : I’ll wait fifteen minutes before I bring up a conspiracy theory.

 **Kat** : I look forward to it 🙂

 **Rafael** : Naivety, and at such a young age. To believe there were simpler times.

 **Kat** : Hi Mr. Barba. I don’t think I had your number before

 **Rafael** : I only give my number out to detectives. And “Barba” is just fine when we’re here.

 **Amanda** : Yeah, first names are okay here, but some people still like to use their last names unless you’re Sonny because he’ll completely ignore it and use your first name anyway

 **Sonny** : ??? What’s that supposed to mean???

 **Mike** : Hi Kat! I don’t think we’ve got the chance to meet yet. I’m Mike Dodds, I was the Sergeant at SVU but now I’m the Lieutenant at Homicide.

 **Kat** : I’ve heard a lot about you! I’ve been waiting to see you around the squad room lol

 **Mike** : I’ve been pretty jammed up with work so I haven’t been able to swing by. I’ll make sure to grab a coffee for you when I stop by next!

 **Nick** : Half of you are still working. Get off your phones.

 **Amanda** : Keep work out of the friend chat, Nicholas.

 **Nick** : 🖕🏽  
Welcome to the cornucopia, Kat. It’s fucking chaos.

* * *

**Mike** : I’m coming over! Who wants coffee?

 **Amanda** : Yes please. Jesse and Billie did NOT want to sleep last night.

 **Mike** : Of course. Want some espresso shots in it?

 **Amanda** : Fuck yes.

 **Rafael** : I’ll text my order in a separate text.

 **Nick** : Everyone knows you want a caramel macchiato. Just say it.

 **Rafael** : I’m sorry, are YOU buying the coffee?

 **Kat** : I’ll have a mocha iced latte for now! Thanks, Mike!

 **Mike** : 👍🏼😊  
And Barba, your secret is safe with me.

 **Liv** : Nick and I are good. Thank you, though.

 **Mike** : Have either of you eaten today? I know it’s only 10 but still.

 **Nick** : We’re managing on our own. You don’t have to get us anything.

 **Mike** : Uh-huh, sure. I’ll get your usuals.

 **Sonny** : My usual, please, bestie ❤️

 **Mike** : Of course, bestie 😘❤️

 **Amanda** : 🤢🤢

* * *

**Rita** : Sorry for not replying sooner. I hope you’re enjoying the chaos, Kat. As the member who can relate to you the most, it can only get better from here.

 **Kat** : Rita, right? It’s nice to meet you!

 **Rafael** : Don’t fall for it. She’s absolutely vicious.

 **Rita** : Green is a terrible color on you, Rafael.

 **Rafael** : There’s no such thing as a terrible color on me.

 **Rita** : It’s great to have you, Kat. You might not see me in the squad room unless it’s to steal a few kisses from my wife.

 **Kat** : So you’re THE Rita. You’re a defense attorney, right?

 **Rita** : I am. My last few clients through SVU were a bit of trouble, morally, so I’m currently representing victims in civil cases when the prosecution fails them.

 **Sonny** : It’s the system’s fault, not the prosecution’s.

 **Rita** : Like clockwork to defend your beloved! You were slower this time. The prosecution is ingrained in the system and the one fighting in defense of it, therefore making them just as guilty as the ones who benefit from the system being fucked.

 **Kat** : Is it inappropriate to ask if everyone here is not straight?

 **Amanda** : I mean, pretty much everyone here is not straight. But I guess Fin is an exception.

 **Nick** : Fin is straight but not for John Munch.

 **Munch** : My charm is irresistible. It doesn’t bother to look at gender.

 **Amanda** : You’re a real pansexual icon, Munch

 **Munch** : I’m a man of many talents. It’s exhausting.

* * *

**Fin** : [image] Jaden loves nap times when Daisy’s around.

 **Amanda** : So cute! Look at that wrinkly face

 **Mike** : Daisy looks tired. It must have been a long morning for her

 **Munch** : A leaf fell past the window. The house was on code black for an hour.

 **Mike** : So busy!

 **Liv** : She’s a true angel if she found time in her busy schedule to nap with Jaden.

 **Fin** : She would NEVER miss nap time with Jaden.

 **Amanda** : [image] This is from last night but still. Frannie Mae is available for nap time cuddles if Daisy ever needs to tap out

 **Mike** : What a good girl

 **Amanda** : Are you crying

 **Mike** : No

 **Mike** : Yes

* * *

**Rafael** : Quick, someone give me an excuse.

 **Rafael** : I was just in the squad room, I know you’re not swamped today. Answer me.

 **Rafael** : If you don’t think I’ll call another Lyft to go back there and prove a point, you don’t know me at all.

 **Munch** : I’m here for you, Barba.

 **Rafael** : That worries me, but it’ll have to do.  
My mother wants to make plans with her sisters for a family dinner. I currently do not have the mental capacity to be surrounded by my aunts, their spouses, and my cousins for an entire evening. So I need a good excuse that will either postpone it or give me a pass from attending.

 **Munch** : Work convention. Doctor’s appointment. Abducted by aliens. Meeting the Queen. Volunteering. Held in FBI custody for being abducted by aliens.  
Do you need more?

 **Rafael** : I would like one that is actually believable. But I can work with some of those.

 **Rita** : Try “abducted by aliens.” That always works for me.  
Are you desperate enough to have a kid? They’re good excuses.

 **Rafael** : Take a wild fucking guess.

 **Rita** : Well, I’m out of ideas.

 **Kat** : You could just be honest with her and tell her you don’t wanna go?

 **Nick** : His family is Cuban.

 **Rafael** : I’m Cuban.

 **Kat** : I take back what I said.

 **Mike** : Fake your death.

 **Amanda** : Baby-sitting. Dog-sitting.

 **Rafael** : Would I ever do any of those things?

 **Amanda** : Hey, you asked for excuses, and I gave them.

 **Nick** : I don’t think Barba has ever seen a baby.

 **Mike** : I mean you did give out your home address to someone who threatened to push you on the courthouse steps and kill you. So…

 **Nick** : 🤭

 **Amanda** : 🤭

 **Munch** : 🤭

 **Rita** : 🤭

 **Sonny** : If you need an excuse, Rafael, you can say you’re gonna be with me. I don’t mind being your excuse

 **Rafael** : Tempting.

 **Amanda** : If you’re gonna do that, you may as well say you have a date.

 **Rafael** : Also tempting. With your permission, of course, Sonny.

 **Sonny** : Yeah that’s fine.

 **Rafael** : Thank you.  
I don’t need any more suggestions. Thank you for your time. Get back to work.

 **Amanda** : Fuck off, when did you become the boss?

 **Liv** : Get back to work.

 **Amanda** : Yes ma’am.

* * *

_Rafael and Sonny_

**Sonny** : So you’re calling me Sonny now? When did that start?

 **Rafael** : When you started calling me Rafael.

 **Sonny** : Well that’s a lie. It’s been, what, a year since you let me do that?

 **Rafael** : I begrudgingly let you. Get your facts straight.

 **Sonny** : My facts are the straightest thing about me.

 **Rafael** : Oh? That’s interesting information.

 **Sonny** : Don’t act like you didn’t know.

 **Rafael** : I had my suspicions but I never wanted to assume anything.

 **Sonny** : Really? The way we interacted, I would have thought it was obvious.

 **Rafael** : I guess I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

 **Sonny** : Do you wanna get your hopes up now? Because mine have always been up there if we’re being honest with each other.

 **Sonny** : Rafael?

 **Rafael** : How soon can you get to my place? This is a conversation that should happen in person.  
You’re my excuse anyway. And I know a one-time opportunity when I see one.

* * *

_Sonny Carisi has added Amanda Rollins and Mike Dodds to a group chat. Say hello!_

**Sonny** : So  
Amanda  
You know how you said Rafael should say I’m his date to get out of having dinner with his family?

 **Amanda** : Yes and I don’t regret it

_Sonny Carisi has shared his location with Amanda Rollins and Mike Dodds._

**Sonny** : It wasn’t just for show.

 **Mike** : FUCK

 **Amanda** : Oh

 **Mike** : WHAT  
DETAILS RIGHT BOW PLEASE

 **Amanda** : DOMINICK GIOVANNI CARISI JR

 **Mike** : HOLY SHIT  
I’m speechless

 **Amanda** : YOU’RE WELCOME I GUESS

 **Sonny** : [image]

 **Mike** : is that breakfast

 **Sonny** : I’m bringing it to him

 **Mike** : Stop that right now, that’s actually the sweetest thing

 **Amanda** : ITS ABOUT GODDAMN TIME SONNY JEEZ  
YOU WOULD THINK TWO MEN AS SMART AS YOU TWO WOULD TAKE A HINT AFTER THREE YEARS BUT NOOOOOO  
EVERYONE HAS TO SUFFER THROUGH THREE YEARS OF “oh Counselor, oh Detective, should we have a drink after everyone else has left and talk into the early hours about our ambitions while maintaining direct eye contact when one of us gets lovesick 👉👈”  
You dumbasses are fucking ridiculous  
I’m so happy for you. I mean that.

 **Sonny** : 💜  
We’re eating so I’ll text you guys later

 **Mike** : Have fun!! 🥳

 **Amanda** : Love you, stay safe!  
It’s your turn to get laid, Mike

 **Mike** : Why?

 **Sonny** : Being the dumb blond is my job.  
Okay now I’m leaving Rafael is demanding kisses love you guys

 **Amanda** : Literally everyone has seen the way you look at Nick  
Especially when his shirt’s tight across his chest and arms and you can see his pecs  
You go 👀 every time he walks by

 **Mike** : I have no idea what you’re talking about

_Mike Dodds has left the group chat._

* * *

_One month later  
_ _The Cornucopia_

 **Rafael** : It’s been a month and Sonny and I are still dating. You can all talk about it now.

 **Mike** : FINALLY THANK YOU  
Amanda and I knew about it before all of you

 **Rita** : No you didn’t ❤️

 **Mike** : Except Rita  
But I took the pic of the cute selfie on Sonny’s phone

 **Fin** : So that’s why you were staring at your phone like an idiot.

 **Amanda** : No that’s just his face

 **Sonny** : ☹️

 **Amanda** : 😘   
Fr though y’all are a cute couple and I’m glad this finally happened

 **Kat** : Hey, congrats! I’m happy for you two!

 **Munch** : Mazel tov  
[gif]

 **Mike** : Kat idk if you’ve witnessed any of their fuckery but Barba and Sonny have been thirsting after each other since before I was there

 **Rafael** : Well that’s an exaggeration.

 **Sonny** : Thirsting?

 **Rafael** : I’d like to think I had it somewhat under control, thank you very much.

 **Nick** : I beg to fucking differ. There were times where you looked at him like he made a fucking constellation that told you just how much he loves you.

 **Sonny** : That’s a good idea.

 **Nick** : NO.

 **Kat** : I mean it explains a lot so thanks Mike

 **Rafael** : Kat, don’t listen to him. He’s a liar and a fraud.

 **Mike** : I didn’t think you’d stoop as low as baseless slander, Rafael.

 **Rita** : Yeah, that’s my job.

 **Sonny** : Not the pot calling the kettle black, Michael!!!  
Kat may remember the last time you were in the squad room to cross-reference cases but you spent half the time Nick was talking just staring at his arms 👀

 **Kat** : I do remember 🤭

 **Sonny** : 🤭

 **Rita** : 🤭

 **Munch** : 🤭

_Mike Dodds has left the group chat._

_Nick Amaro has left the group chat._

_Amanda Rollins has added Nick Amaro and Mike Dodds to the group chat “The Cornucopia.” Say hello!_

**Rita** : Hi boys. Guilty? ❤️

 **Nick** : I have a lot of work that needs to be done.

 **Rita** : I can be over in ten minutes and see for myself.

 **Nick** : Fuckin do it. I’m not scared of you.

 **Rita** : You should be.

 **Fin** : I put down my phone for five minutes. What the fuck is this.

 **Mike** : That sounds like a great idea, Fin. I’m putting my phone down and never looking at it ever again.

 **Rita** : Coward. You and Nick were made for each other.

_Mike Dodds has left the group chat._

_Nick Amaro has left the group chat._

_Amanda Rollins has added Nick Amaro and Mike Dodds to the group chat “The Cornucopia.” Say hello!_

**Amanda** : We’re all stuck here, bitches. Make your bed and lie in it.

* * *

_Sonny and Mike_

**Sonny** : So about you and Nick 👀

 **Mike** : Et tu, Brute? I thought you were better than this.  
I called you a friend. A brother. Now you betray me. I won’t stand for this.

 **Sonny** : Then sit down.

 **Mike** : SONNY  
I didn’t interfere with you and Rafael hooking up. Please

 **Sonny** : You didn’t interfere bc there was nothing for you to interfere with. Rafael and I did it on our own. And you aren’t even trying with Nick!

 **Mike** : I’m nervous!

 **Sonny** : Useless himbo.

 **Mike** : Take that back. I am not useless.

 **Sonny** : Prove it.

* * *

_Mike and Nick_

**Mike** : Hello, I would like to know your plans  
For this weekend. Any time.

 **Nick** : I’m gonna be in DC visiting Zara but I’m free next weekend. Is that what you wanted to know?

 **Mike** : Yeah that works  
That free weekend, next week, do you want to have plans?

 **Nick** : I’m okay with not having plans. But I don’t think that’s the answer you wanna hear.

 **Mike** : Oh yeah? What type of answer do I want?

 **Nick** : You tell me. Are you asking me out on a date?

 **Nick** : I’m taking your ten-minute long silence as a “yes.”  
I know a good place we can have dinner. It’s not too fancy but you can dress nice if you want. And you seem like the type of guy who would bring flowers, so if you wanna bring me something, sunflowers are a good start. I can pick you up at 5:30 and we can just walk around until dinner. 

**Mike** : That sounds great. It’s a date.

* * *

_Mike Dodds has shared his location with the group chat “The Cornucopia.”_

**Mike** : Fucking eat it, Carisi.

 **Amanda** : Is that Nick’s address?

 **Rita** : Hmm. Interesting.

 **Munch** : Two months and two couples. Are you sure you aren’t running a matchmaking service Liv?

 **Olivia** : Oh my god.

 **Mike** : Wait  
FUCK

_Mike Dodds has left the group chat._

**Rafael** : If this is considered doxxing, I didn’t see any of it.

_Sonny Carisi has added Mike Dodds to the group chat “The Cornucopia.” Say hello!_

**Sonny** : MAKE YOUR BED AND LIE IN IT MICHAEL

 **Mike** : I MEANT TO TEXT YOU

 **Sonny** : YOU DID.  
AND EIGHT OTHERS.

 **Fin** : What’s happening?

 **Rita** : Nick and Mike are boxing in bed.

 **Fin** : ?

 **Rita** : They’re fucking.

 **Fin** : Oh.  
Good for you two.

 **Nick** : Thanks. 

**Amanda** : Hey, at least he got it out of the way, right? Now there are no surprises next time we’re working on a case.

 **Nick** : Someone was gonna figure it out but yeah I guess

 **Kat** : I just caught up. So is this a good thing?

 **Nick** : It’s not doxxing if that’s what you mean. And Mike and I are out so everything is known among the group.

 **Kat** : Well that’s good! Congrats to you guys!

 **Rafael** : Good. I hope you had fun, compay.

 **Nick** : Gracias.

 **Olivia** : At least you don’t have to disclose anything.

 **Amanda** : I thought you said no work talk in the group chat.

 **Sonny** : 🤭

 **Rita** : 🤭

 **Munch** : 🤭

 **Amanda** : 🤭

 **Mike** : So am I clear to come out of the bathroom?

 **Nick** : I never put you there in the first place. Also breakfast is ready.

 **Mike** : !!!

 **Amanda** : Have fun and be safe!!

* * *

**Olivia** : Can someone send Nick the address to the restaurant again? On our way now.

 **Kat** : On it!

 **Olivia** : Thank you. 🙂

 **Amanda** : Wow, a smiling emoji? When do I get one?

 **Olivia** : It’s not a competition.

 **Sonny** : And you don’t deserve it ❤️

 **Amanda** : You’re a petty bitch.

 **Sonny** : ☹️☹️☹️

 **Mike** : WHOA  
LANGUAGE.

 **Munch** : Watch the fucking cursing.

 **Sonny** : How could you say that to me? I treated you like a sister. But you treat me like dirt. And for what?

 **Amanda** : Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.

 **Nick** : We’re on our way. Liv is driving and changed clothes. I have her phone until we get to the restaurant. Is everything ready?

 **Mike** : Just about! Everyone’s where they should be and not dressed in clothes they worked in

 **Nick** : The kids?

 **Mike** : Currently destroying the tablecloth with crayons  
[image]

 **Nick** : Good. We should be there in twenty minutes.

 **Rafael** : Our tables are at the back so you won’t have to worry about her seeing us too early. If you need help, tell the host you’re with the Dodds party and they’ll help keep Liv’s attention while you head back here.

 **Fin** : We can also send Dad Dodds up there. He’s getting antsy back here. I think he’s told Munch the same story three times.

 **Mike** : Yeahhh. I think I have an explanation.

 **Munch** : 🤭

 **Rita** : 🤭

 **Kat** : 🤭

 **Amanda** : 🤭

 **Sonny** : 🤭

 **Rafael** : I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t be on your phone until after the party.

 **Sonny** : I don’t know what you’re talking about.

 **Amanda** : Dude, everyone knows you can’t keep a secret. If you blab this surprise to Liv, I’m kicking your ass.  
With Rafael’s permission.

 **Rafael** : Yes.

 **Amanda** : I’m kicking your ass.

 **Sonny** : I’m a great secret keeper!!!

 **Kat** : Munch and Fin’s anniversary surprise would like to have a word with you.

 **Mike** : 🤭

 **Amanda** : 🤭

 **Rita** : 🤭

 **Munch** : 🤭

* * *

“They’re here! She’s coming!”

The group at the back of the restaurant, comprised of former SVU cohorts and current squad members, gather around the table. The banner above them—“Congrats, Captain Benson”—is cheesy but cute. Olivia will surely love it.

Kat looks over at the group as she hurries into place and hones in on the ones in the group chat. She was invited into it less than six months ago and her expectations couldn’t have been farther from her reality. As different as they are in personality and background, they share a common bond that cannot be broken. Kat smiles at the thought of what else is in store and hopes it’s as good as throwing their boss a party for her promotion among their teasing jabs and loving quips.

**Author's Note:**

> Some AU notes
> 
> -Daisy is Fin and Munch's bulldog and she's a chonky wrinkly girl please give me MunchFin with boxy-looking dogs with feminine names  
> -yes I added refs to Rita and Amanda being together, I haven't delved far into it but listen they're sassy, determined women and I love the idea of them being together  
> -Mike and Sonny are best friends   
> -Nick and Rafael are good friends but more on a mutual respect level even though I think they would make GREAT PALS!!!  
> -NICK AMARO'S FAVORITE FLOWERS ARE SUNFLOWERS DON'T LOOK AT ME  
> -Sonny, Mike and Amanda are basically siblings and you cannot convince me otherwise  
> -also Nick and Amanda sibling relationship NICK AND AMANDA SIBLING RELATIONSHIP  
> -Kat is adopted by everyone thank you goodnight


End file.
